I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
