If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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