I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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