my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
