i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
