I can tuck mytits in my pants
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
as a side note pls kill me
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
