Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
