I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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