you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
