I can't breathe out the right side of my face
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
