New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
