Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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