john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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