I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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