Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize