We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
