your parents love me but you hate me
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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