I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This is the high leading the old right now
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
