Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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