Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
