eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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