You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
