Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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