yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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