I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
