Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
