So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
