It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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