She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
