You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
