I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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