I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
