i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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