when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
