my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
