Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize