Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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