I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
