It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
