you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
