I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Houston, we have a blender
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
