i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
