Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
