just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
