Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
