There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
