I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
