Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
