I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
