He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
