No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
