We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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