Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
