So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
