she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
