we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
