Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
