Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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