I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
