I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
