Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
